No Kai, There Really Isn't A Santa Claus

This past Friday night Mark and I went out to finish up the rest of the Christmas presents for Kai and Jakob. As we laid the gifts out on the bed to decide what would be from us and what should come from Santa Claus we came to a starling realization: This would be the year that Kai would need to learn that her parents were Santa. With Jakob getting about 3x as many gifts as Kai we were scared that Kai would think she wasn't as good as her brother or that her momma and daddy loved her less. So it was decided, one of us would have to gently explain to Kai whom Santa Claus really was. On Saturday morning while we were getting ready to go run some errands I called Kai into our bedroom and began to tell her the truth. I first let he read a letter that I found on Pinterest that tells a child who Santa really is. After she finished reading the letter, Kai looked up from the computer with tears in her eyes. I knew that I had just destroyed her belief in everything and her heart, and mine, slowly broke together. Trying to recover from what I just inflicted upon my eldest child I explained to Kai that Santa is real in that he represents hope, happiness, and love, which is exactly how her daddy and I felt about her and Jakob. I also explained the reason why we thought it was best that she knew ahead of time (the gift ratio). After our talk she told me that she understood why she needed to be told the truth but that she was sad because her childhood had been ruined that morning. I guess what I am trying to get at is that no one ever tells you how to handle situations like this when you have a child of your own, you just have to kind of go with the ebbs and flows of parenthood and make it up as you go. You will have big wins like first steps, honor rolls in school, and band concerts. You will also experience many lows like illness, their first heartbreak from a boy/girl, and yes even having to tell them that there is not really a Santa Claus.